Ramirez tested positive for the female fertility drug known as Clovid. Which means Ramirez is one of the most feared hitters in the history of the game with a breast pump. Is that why it was such an issue for Manny to cut her beloved braids?
When the season began, everyone in the clubhouse must have wondered why Manny's locker was filled with onesies, diapers and pacifiers instead of cleats and a uniform.
But Manny's ability to distract team-mates by nursing them to sleep with warm milk and lullabies must have had something to do with their silence.
Never doubt a she-man on Clovid.
Listening to Joe Torre apologize for Manny's transgressions, giving preferential treatment to the favorite son, the Dodgers should have their own reality show called 'Manny & Joe plus 24'. Jon and Kate eat your heart out.
Manny's dysfunction in the Dodger family is just as absurd as the one in the TV show. One notable difference is that Manny is actually being welcomed back after the separation.
The Dodgers have been criticized for being young and brash. Which means that Torre, like Kate, needs to give his kids an occasional nap and burping.
But fortunately, when the Dodgers white pantsies suddenly get a brown stain, its usually from a stolen base, and doesn't necessitate a diaper change.
Meanwhile, Manny's suspension has given him time to think. He's angry and tired of the jokes. Hell has no wrath like a woman scorned.
Interestingly, the young Dodgers remained in first place during Ramirez's absence. So, Manny's hitting skills may have suffered, but his mothering skills improved.
Is that such a bad trade?