June 12, 2009

New Nike NBA Playoff Puppets!

Forget Lebron and Kobe. I want to see NBA players as puppets in the rest of the league. We've been force fed King James and the Black Mamba all year, so its time to spread the wealth.

Spurs guard Tony Parker's smooth French accent and ability to romance Eva Longoria make him an ideal match for sassy skunk Pepe le Peu. And both share the distinction of having unpleasant post game body odor.

Pau Gasol, the Lakers' bearded beast, is a dead ringer for Popeye nemesis Bluto. Furthermore, the bulked up, pasta-eating Pau and Bluto both have a great fondness for Olive Oil.

Lamar Odom would play The Cookie Monster, allowing the Laker forward to continue his non-stop ingestion of sweets.

Orlando's Hedo Turkoglu would portray Snow White's 'Sleepy'. While Sleepy may not be capable of an alley-oop, he and Turkoglu both have a lovable mug and eyelids that are perpetually at half mast.

And Orlando Coach Stan Van Gundy would be Yosemite Sam. Both are short, have a big moustache and love to scream at full volume.

With his feather-like blond hair, Denver's Chris 'Bird-Man' Anderson gets the nod as Big Bird. Bird-Man and Big Bird may look like chickens, but both are courageous underdogs adored by millions.

And finally, gone but not forgotten, is Dennis Rodman, who bears a striking resemblance to Miss Piggy. Both have lovely, long red hair. And Rodman, like Miss Piggy, has an appetite that is seemingly never satisfied.

So lets see some puppetry variety from Nike. The current spots should be whistled for a violation. Especially since Lebron looks like Urkel and Kobe sounds like Redd Foxx.

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